DISASTERS CAUSED BY SUPER USELESS ABILITIES
"The Super Useless Abilities" submitted to Weekly Jump by its readers are featured.
-What happened, Kusuo? -Are you all right?
I don't know. Something's wrong with my limiter.
He looks tired.
But it doesn't seem to be completely broken.
It's different from what I feel when I remove it.
I could fix it with my restoration ability,
but it can be restored to the default.
Let me see that, Kusuo.
No, don't get close to me. It might not be safe.
What're you doing, honey?
I can't touch you.
-There's an invisible wall around you. -What?
Super Useless Ability 1: Invisible shield covering a 50-cm radius for a day
I see. Is that because I said not to get close to me?
No object can go through.
Hey, don't squish me...
Oh, how useful. I mean, such a useless ability.
And this cannot be deactivated.
Stop mulling!
Oh. Well, what should I do?
What's so funny, Mom?
No, it's a psychic ability again.
Super Useless Ability 2: Changing other's sense of humor
Honey, your clothes are so funny!
Is that what she's laughing at?
Darling, your hair!
Dad, too? Oh, shit. This is out of control.
I see. You have unknown psychic abilities.
Oh, my goodness!
It's more than that.
It activates by itself. So dangerous.
And so annoying.
I can't even sit on the chair because of this shield.
What do we do?
Why don't we have some coffee in an elegant manner and calm down.
Super Useless Ability 3: Making coffee bitter and ruining elegancy
Are you all right? Here's tea.
Super Useless Ability 4: Changing any drinks into soda
Sorry, looks like it was me again.
Damn! Do something!
Now you know how serious the problem is.
This isn't fair! Why is it always me?
What goes around comes around.
A Matryoshka doll. How did it get here?
What? They keep coming out of my hand.
Super Useless Ability 5: Producing Matryoshka dolls from hands
Gross! Isn't this a plagiarized idea from My Hero Academia?
Shoot, the shield keeps Matryoshka dolls inside.
I don't want to drown in the dolls.
I must deactivate this shield.
-Are you okay, Kusuo? -How could you laugh in this situation?
I broke the shield.
What did you just shoot?
I don't know. It just came out.
Super Useless Ability 6: Producing beams from eyes
It passed right beside my face!
By the way, you were laughing when I was in trouble.
No, I was worried as hell.
Oh, that's because my sense of humor was controlled.
Oh, well. I'm getting irritated.
What's this noise?
Dad's collection of action figures was just reduced to sand.
What? You did it on purpose! Spontaneously!
It discharged accidentally.
-Liar! -Look.
Super Useless Ability 7: Degrading the collection
Have I done anything to him?
Jeez, why only me? It's better than getting her involved, though.
Honey, what are you doing?
Honey?
Super Useless Ability 8: Infantilizing people's minds
Honey, you can't eat that!
Oh, sorry, sorry. Kusuo, soothe her!
I have never used this kind of ability.
I'll give it a try. Get back to normal.
-Did you make it? -Just our hair got swapped.
What the hell...
Super Useless Ability 9: Hairstyle swapping
-Shit! One more time. -A large flock of crows!
Super Useless Ability 10: Summoning a murder of crows.
Saiki kept trying to solve it.
Super Useless Ability 11: Seeing the age of skin
I'm fairly shocked!
Super Useless Ability 12: Hiding Rated-Rs with lights or steam
I'm not R-rated! Okay to show!
Super Useless Ability 13: Changing all voices to Hiroshi Kamiya's
VOICE CAST: HIROSHI KAMIYA
What a great voice. I don't need this now!
His efforts were in vain.
Enough! I will raise this girl!
No matter how many times I try, I just fail. What should I do?
I feel like I'm forced to pick up psychic cards randomly.
You mean, we can't get back to normal
until you pick an ability that changes this situation?
Mom has already returned to normal.
Oh, you got me.
What? Don't you realize how worried about you I was?
-Because I wanted you to care about me! -Oh, sorry, sorry.
There's no big difference in her case.
Don't be silly. You didn't have to do that.
-I always care about you. -Honey.
Super Useless Ability 14: Evaporating body water
Are you trying to kill me?
No more! Your mother is herself again
My limiter isn't fixed yet.
Ask Kusuke for a replacement.
I don't want to owe him.
There should be one that resolves everything. This!
Super Useless Ability 15: Getting something to hit Kaidou's shin
-Ouch! -Are you okay?
No, the next one.
Super Useless Ability 16: Turning men near Teruhashi-san into unknown creatures
-I'm home. -Welcome back, Kokomi!
What? He's gone.
Not this one. This one on the other side.
Super Useless Ability 17: Creating something from nothing
Great. I've got a new limiter.
-Case solved! -Wonderful.
Oh, well. I'm back to myself. But I can no longer use those abilities.
Well, that's fine. They're all useless.
No, the last one wasn't useless.
BUILD THE MOST POWERFUL DECK!
I've got nothing to do. Wanna go eat ramen noodles?
I eat ramen when I get hungry.
Not when I have nothing to do.
There's a little guy I have seen before.
You're his big friend.
Master, I lost to Shigeo-kun again!
Idiot, let me see your deck of cards.
Oh, come on, you have too many fires.
What are you doing here, little man?
I... was just going to use the washroom.
Seems like you are having so much fun with kids, Master?
He saw everything!
Hanging out with small kids at a toy store at your age?
Shut up! Stupid!
You're a little brat, too, since you couldn't just ignore him.
What are you standing in a line for?
"Vallo-kyorie-a-brai-akira"?
"Bal-kyori-a-bre-akira"!
It's "Valkyrie Breaker," idiot!
You are looking down on it,
but even adults enjoy playing this intellectual game.
It's a mental battle that requires strategies and tactics.
-It's a game of darkness. -What's good about darkness?
Master, can you play with me?
I'll finally defeat you after losing to you 67 times in a row today!
He has beaten him brutally.
Anyways, don't think this one is like other children's games!
It must be too hard to play, for an idiot who can't even read Valkyrie Breaker!
Oh, is that so? You've said enough.
-Why don't you play against us idiots? -What?
-For real? Saiki, will you play, too? -I won't.
-You'll be one of Breakers players, too! -I won't.
Oh, I'm so happy that Saiki will join us!
I've been bloodthirsty for battles due to the absence of men with spirit.
I said I'd play, too!
-Come on! Let's play! I'll butter you! -Why will you make him greasy?
Are you stupid?
You need a deck of cards first.
We have cards here.
These are mine!
First, explain to him how it's different from normal playing cards.
You need these expensive cards. Go get them if you want to play!
What a drag...
Okay, I'll pretend to go get cards so I can go home.
Wait, you don't need to go get any.
-You can use these. -How efficient.
Oh, don't worry! I don' t use them anyway.
If you are serious about this, you'd better have these to start at least.
How can I leave now?
Oh, well. If I get serious, I will be the world champion.
But he hasn't stalked me much since he got into this game.
I was getting tired of playing this due to lack of good opponents.
I don't want him to stop playing it.
Hey, I've got one.
I will build an original and all-powerful deck of cards.
Where did you go?
The store employee told me that there are rare cards.
That's right. Saiki, open the package I just gave you.
Ferocious Squirrel, Zebra Rider, Dashing Koala, Jumping Rabbit...
-What did you get? -I can't read it. A weird one.
Golden Lion King Mike?
That's the most powerful card ever sold!
Is it that good?
It's way better than good!
Master's spent 30,000 yen to get Mike.
-But you got it at the first try! Wow! -Yeah...
Great! I will get more!
-I got the same one again! -Again!
That's impossible...
I checked all packages with my second sight
and replaced all the rare cards with Nendou's.
I need him to be into it.
To make him so, he needs to be as good as Kaidou.
Then they will get into the game, and I will grow apart from them.
Even though you're equipped with strong attack cards,
you can't win without good magic and trap cards.
You have to have a deck of nicely balanced cards.
-Oh, I've got a combination. -Not fair!
Wow, that's perfect!
Wow, your deck looks better than Master's, on which he's spent over 100,000 yen.
-Maybe I should quit. -I overdid it.
You're so different from Master!
Is Master the guy who gives us worthless cards with a smug look on his face?
Stop right there. His life has already been reduced to zero.
Bring it on, Nendou! I can teach you that what cards you have isn't important!
-Sounds good to me. -What? Are you going to have a battle?
I won't forgive you. I'll make you regret that you vandalized my sanctuary.
Come and get me!
All right, I've got a pair.
It's your turn.
That's Old Maid.
Next episode is Nendou vs. Kaidou. Please stand by for the battle.
THE DIE IS CAST! FIERCE CARD BATTLE
The card battle continues.
You're naive, little man.
Look at this pair!
-I've got two of them. -This is not Memory!
Teaching Japanese to monkeys must be easier.
I will explain the rules of Valkyrie Breaker to you again.
First of all, there are mainly three types of cards.
It's game over when your life reaches zero.
-Did you get it? -Yeah.
He didn't get anything at all.
There are three monster groups:
Fire, Water and Ice.
Couldn't they think of better-balanced groups?
Any questions so far?
-No. -He is no longer listening.
You can use monster cards as defense.
-This is great! -Understood?
He is reading manga.
-There's another rule... -This manga...
-When someone is not listening... -...is great!
-...you can stab him hard in the eyeballs! -So funny.
Don't try this at home.
Listen!
-What the hell? -I'm explaining to you!
Stop it, Master!
You shouldn't hurt your friend.
Stop bullying him!
Master, you told us,
when we fought over cards...
Stop it! If you're a Breaker player, you should settle through a card battle.
-You said so. -Yeah, but it's nothing to do with...
-Let's fight together! -Master is now our enemy!
I'm in!
We're gonna beat Kaidou-san!
We definitely will!
-Kaidou-"san"? -Poor guy...
Now, kids joined Nendou, and...
the Nendou-vs-Kaidou-san battle has begun.
With 5,000 life points, no time limits, the game begins.
Let's Breaking!
The phrase to begin is too tacky.
Damn, how could you take away my obedient subordinates?
It's okay. I'll show you that a flock of losers is no competition to me.
My turn is over.
What's the card laying face down?
Doesn't matter. I'll just blow them up! My turn!
I summon Ducktail Crocodile!
-Attack on Nendou's monster card! -Something popped up.
-Nendou's monster card is Sly Monkey. -Popped up again.
Which one's gonna win?
Shouldn't we care more about the things popping up from the cards?
Oh, man, Ducktail Crocodile won!
And it's rather gross.
My turn isn't over yet. A special effect: Coalition!
I can summon the monster I defeated as my own!
What?
Too many disturbing images.
Am I the only one who can see those images?
-What kind of ability is this? -And the monster attacks!
I put a card facedown and my turn ends.
He is too good.
Isn't he ashamed to say "my turn" at his age?
This is embarrassing to watch.
He is tough-minded.
He sure was excited.
-Let's make a counterattack! -Yeah! It's my turn!
I summon Green Caterpillar.
Hey, not bugs.
Also, a magic card which was laid face down.
With Equipment For Legendary Hero, the power of Green Caterpillar is doubled.
Is it really doubled?
Go!
How is it gonna fight?
Damn! I've lost my Ducktail Crocodile!
Is that what you expected to hear?
Take this! Phenomenal Self-Destruction!
Hey, wait...
Gross.
Oh, you boosted Green Caterpillar!
Is it that bad?
It's the best timing.
-It can't be... -That's right! My turn!
Sacrificing the Sly Monkey,
I summon Golden Lion King Mike.
There he comes!
Go, get him, Mike! Direct Attack on Nendou!
As I intended, Kaidou-san will probably win.
But is it really okay?
My turn is over. You can surrender if you want!
-What should I do now? -That's it! Use that card!
This is... Klein's Vase!
It enables players to swap their cards.
We're not done yet, Kaidou-san!
I summon Golden Lion King Mike without sacrificing.
No!
You're cheating! How could you have Klein's Vase at such a great moment?
I reordered the cards.
I was going to let Kaidou win, but I changed my mind because it's gross.
I couldn't bear if he played it on my desk.
I still have a chance if I can draw another Klein's Vase. Please!
FEROCIOUS SQUIRREL
Kaidou-san, you lost.
METORI SAIKO'S EQUATION OF VICTORY
Stop him!
I've got it!
-He did it! -Awesome!
Oh, well. Hairo is so passionate, as always.
How could he be so serious during recess before the PE class?
We'll play basketball in PE today.
I used to play street basketball in the US.
-Kaidou... -Here is a ball.
Are you an old guy who's playing basketball for the first time in 80 years?
Go home.
Do they use their faces to dribble in the US?
Shut up! That's right! This is how they play it in its birthplace!
-For real? That's awesome. -Nendou-kun!
Are you confident about today's game?
I think so. People used to call me "Nen-chan of basketball."
We'll play against each other. Good luck to both of us!
I will win you back today, Nendou-kun!
All right, it's a five-on-five.
RED TEAM
-Are you ready? -We ended up being on the same team.
Excuse me!
Nendou-kun and I shouldn't be on the same team.
We randomly chose the teammates.
But we have Kuboyasu-kun, too!
BLUE TEAM
-It will be a one-sided game. -Can I thrash you?
There are only four of them.
Hey, what are you doing there? Get in!
-Saiko, line up! -What?
He is not even in PE clothes.
It's okay. You can just pretend as if my team won, Mr. Low-Income.
Get in line now!
It won't make any difference if he joins or not.
Right. He'd rather be a disadvantage for us.
I have no choice. Let's do a four-on-four without Takahashi.
Hold on! Leaving Takahashi out?
Are you saying I'm equal to him?
Don't be ridiculous! This is an insult to me!
Pick the poor, passionate guy or the poor idiot!
-Is that what you care for the most? -Then, get in.
-Wow, Saiko will participate in PE. -This is the first time I've seen this.
Dollar?
Are you ready to be humiliated?
If I didn't play, your team could have a complete victory.
You'll see who gets humiliated.
We don't know how good he is since he never participates in PE class,
but I don't think he can completely close the power gap, either. It's a bluff!
We will win by a landslide so that the teacher will shuffle the teams.
Game begins!
Great, Nendou-kun!
Where are you aiming at?
Both money and balls gather around me.
Now, let's play ball!
Let us see you in action!
Look at my beautiful dribbling technique!
So cocky.
-What the hell is that move? -Don't laugh at him.
Please reconsider the teams!
Watch out.
-What? -Was it funny?
You were laughing out loud.
I would have laughed if I was unintelligent like you.
Your laughing face could made me laugh even harder.
-I'll kill you! -Kuboyasu-kun! No, don't get heated!
I know! This is not a fight! We settle this through basketball.
3 MINUTES LATER
-Kuboyasu-kun! -I'd have won if it was a fight.
FIVE FOULS AND KICKED OUT
No reserves, so it's a five-on-four now.
It's a huge disadvantage for us.
But we won't lose! I noticed something from your play, Saiko-kun.
Your skill isn't as good as it seems to be.
Kuboyasu-kun wouldn't have lost if he could have stayed calm.
And there's Nendou-kun on our team.
And Kaidou-kun is on their team!
-We will not lose! -Nendou, pass me the ball!
-I got it! -Thanks.
Nendou-kun! You can't pass the ball to the opponent!
Sorry, I thought I passed it to my teammate.
Yes, I am your teammate.
-Oh, are you? -He's not!
Nendou-kun's weakness, his stupidity, is targeted.
-We're driven into a corner! -Hairo! Here!
We just have to do our best with only three players.
Good ball!
He stole my ball...
Cut it out!
You thought he was on your side? It's Takahashi.
-Are we going to lose to such a weak team? -I knew it from the beginning!
-Game is over! -Wrong.
-I thought I made it! -This is not six-on-two but five-on-three.
I was just observing, but bribery is out of question.
-I'm going to score this time! -You can't. I applied an invisible shield.
10 - 8 RED - BLUE
That's it! Red won against Blue by a score of ten to eight.
Sorry, but I don't want another game.
The team won, but I feel like I lost.
Saiko-kun, you're amazing.
I hope to play with you again. I wish he'd participate in PE more.
There's no such word as "defeat" for the Saiko family.
Hairo, I will defeat you in the next PE class!
What happened to him? He rarely does a workout.
I have no idea.
HERO IN DISASTER
The Disastrous Life of Saiki K., serialized in Weekly Jump
since Vol. 24 of 2012, marked its 5th anniversary!
The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. marked its 5th anniversary?
Congratulations! What a great accomplishment!
-Is it that good? -Don't get excited for only five years.
-Who is that? -We marked the 10th anniversary.
OUR HERO STUDIES
It's been since Vol. 24 of 2007.
Catch me if you can!
Your series have already ended.
I can give you my praise at least,
but it'll be difficult to continue the series as is.
Well, learning our "Hero's Studies" will help you though.
-Listen well. -Are they still gonna talk about that?
Don't be satisfied with only five years.
It's even shorter than years to attend elementary school.
Who the hell are you?
Watch your mouth!
Who do you think you're talking to?
That's why I asked you who you are.
Stop it, Nendou! You're so rude!
What? Do you know them, little man?
Yeah, for sure. That bizarre outfit, the sword on his back...
Could it be that you're Mr. Ken Haganeno?
Did you notice?
Wow, he is the real one!
-Habanero? -Haganeno!
Haven't you seen him on the news on TV?
He is the most famous high school teacher!
Come to think about it, maybe I have.
So, you finally know who we are.
-And who is this guy? -No idea.
Mr. Haganeno, can I shake your hand, please?
HANDSHAKE FOR 1,080 YEN
It's 1,080 yen for shaking his hand.
-Will you charge me? -Of course.
-By the way, who are you guys? -Me?
I'm Nozomi Hinoki. I'm his manager.
He is Masayuki. He's handling the guillotine.
Handling what?
What is such a famous teacher doing here in front of our school?
Don't you know?
So, Mr. Haganeno will give us a special lecture today.
Hi. Whether you know me or not,
I'm the legendary hero and teacher Ken Haganeno.
-5th anniversary, huh? -Wow, is he real?
He's been talked about in the news a lot.
It's an honor that such a famous teacher will give us a lecture.
-Don't bring a prowler in. -Let's talk about the fees.
All right, let me tell you something.
-You guys are trash. -No introduction?
You guys are totally hopeless. A total waste.
It's a miracle that this series lasted for five years.
-Five years? What's that about? -There's one thing you lack.
What we lack?
Courage, kindness and strength.
He said three things.
You lack these. For example...
The little man, it's obvious that you're chickenhearted and have no courage.
-Me? -He has more courage than you.
You, the empty-headed gorilla, living without a concept of kindness.
He's kinder than you.
You, the plain and weak four-eyes, who can be robbed even by middle-school kids.
Not weaker than you.
See? What a disappointment.
You are.
But you will be fine, since I, the one who possess those three, am here.
I'll be the main character of this anime,
and I'll help you all to become great heroes.
He said something ridiculous without hesitation.
-Main character? -I don't know...
-Mr. Haganeno is still talking! -Who is that guy?
Let's listen to him anyways.
Don't wear our uniforms.
They're transfer students. Be nice to them.
This is bad.
They're trying to take over this anime. It's not funny.
HERO'S STUDIES
All right, let the class begin.
-Hustle-and-bustle hero quiz! -Stop it.
Okay, the first person is...
-You! -Me?
Your face irritates me, so you are disqualified!
Stop it. Don't hurt him without cause.
Haven't you learned that no one finds unreasonable violence funny.
Okay, let's forget about him. You, the four-eyed geek.
Oh, well. He picked me. I have no choice.
A: SAVE - B: NOT SAVE
The first question.
There's a girl being attacked by a monster in a cave. Will you save her, or...
Hey! Where the hell are you going?
A real hero never escapes. Wait, right there!
What is this? Another world?
Am I summoned as a legendary hero?
This is great! Wait, where has he gone?
-The first question. -What?
There's a girl being attacked by a monster in a cave.
A: Save her. B: Do not save her.
What's going on? Where am I?
-Hinoki! -Show me your answer.
Mr. Haganeno...
DO SOMETHING WITH THIS
Everything will be fine if I could get to the church.
Wrong answer.
Four-eyes geek!
How could you ruin our 5th anniversary?
Where the hell are we?
It's so appropriate for you, isn't it?
You're not supposed to be there. Stay here and enjoy leveling up.
-Bye. -Wait!
-Seriously? -The hero Haganeno
has finally left for adventure. Nobody knows if he could become a real hero...
Let's head to the town anyways.
...but it's certain that peace was restored to the world after he'd left.
-I want to appear, too! -You're the last person they'd ask.